Strange Times

It does seem ironic that having made a commitment to this blog and myself the world decides to turn on its head. I am of course talking about the Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) pandemic. My first instinct was – well now is not the time to be undertaking such a self-indulgent activity as creating a blog! Then one thought leads to another and next thing you know I am convinced that my time is best served obsessively scrolling for the latest bit of information, that will ultimately ease my anxiety.

This was not working too well for me.

I am currently in a calmer state (currently because this really is changing regularly for me) so I decided to create a public record of my more rational thoughts.

When the COVID-19 news hit I went into full-on panic mode about what would happen to my family members. I still am greatly concerned about some of the older members of my family and what will happen to them, but the anxiety has moved on to other areas too – how many people will die, what will happen to our economy, our way of life and also what if I get it and don’t survive.

I have been very interested in what has been unfolding in Italy. I have family there and some have been very active on social media posting the horror stories and whatnot. One of the things I have seen repeatedly relates to the scarcity of incubation equipment and that health professionals are making calls on who should receive treatment.

If such a situation were to repeat here (and it could but it also might not) who would get incubated myself, a single, childless, overweight woman in her 40’s or a married, slim, mother in her 40’s?

So yeah this is where my head was at yesterday! Not helpful, I know.

I am currently working from home, which has helped alleviate some of my fears. I am also still employed, which as a contractor employed for a specific project, I am very grateful for. I know there are many others who have very real concerns over money at the moment. I also live with my sister and her partner (and their two kids) so don’t have to worry about making rent on my own.

I guess what I am getting at is there is a lot of positive for me to be focusing on at the moment.

I am also using this time to sharpen my intuitive eating practices.

Of course, this anxiety was wreaking havoc with my eating and general approach with food and meals. Not being in control of something has always prompted me to start a diet because that, for me, is the ultimate control. I have been battling with thoughts of starting a diet versus practicing intuitive eating (yes that old argument) and over the top of that freaking out because controlling your diet in times of empty supermarkets and impending shortages is really fucking hard.

So for days I have been like:

I’ll start tomorrow.

OK, but what if you can’t access the “diet food”.

Shit OK, let’s just do the intuitive eating, that’s for the best anyway.

But really, I would feel better dieting at the moment.

AND REPEAT!

So yeah intuitive eating all the way but practicing it in the fullest way possible.

I have been revisiting my intuitive resources and also seeking out more. This has the added benefit of keeping me off social media!

If you were to look at the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating being stuck inside with the ability to structure your day as you see fit is a time when these could be really and I mean like really and truly implemented.

That is what I am focused on because ultimately, I can’t control what is happening in the world but I can look after myself and present the best version of me to do my bit.

Translated: dieting increases my anxiety, I don’t need to increase my anxiety now, I need to reduce anxiety so I can help the global effort, therefore no fucking dieting!