Mystery Solved

I’m back and I’m just going to cut right to the chase!

It would appear the lack of discipline I have around keeping a blog is not because I’m lazy or fear putting myself out there, but because of good ‘ole ADHD!

For so, so, so many years I have agonised over my inability to not only do things I don’t want to do but also the things I WANT TO DO! It’s hard to convey the frustration and shame that comes with that, so yes, that is me screaming.

The anger of a late ADHD diagnosis is very real and very common.    

Little Praizebe

I have had the official diagnosis for 3 weeks now and I have had many, many other thoughts and feelings – denial, sadness, elation, relief, gratitude (finally an answer) and so on.

I have been on Vyvanse since the diagnosis and it feels life changing. It is definitely not a cure all, but it certainly has put me on a more level playing field.

My initial reaction to getting a diagnosis was one of skepticism. There are definitely a lot of areas I have been high masking in and some narratives I have built around myself made me think I did not meet the criteria. The medication has allowed me to more clearly see the ADHD deficits that I have kept hidden.

It has also cured my phone addiction overnight (story for another time – but this alone has been life-changing).

There is so much more to say about my journey, my lifelong symptoms, how the diagnosis came about and how medication has helped, and I plan to unpack everything here.

Writing has always been my way to make a sense of the world and if there was ever a time I needed a sense check, it’s now!

I don’t want to be stuck in anger and regret and while I have been doing a lot of reflecting and having many “ahh that explains that” moments I am focused on making the most of my time and sharing what I can in the hope of helping others.